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So there’s a bit of nuance, I think, that makes comparing that scenario with yours at least slightly less straightforward. But again, all of this matters little if he’s not into it. So you should talk about that and ask him what he wants to do about this. If he’s not making any real effort, suggest a sex therapist/coach that you visit together. You could also look into opening the relationship or even ending it, but there is much that could be done (at least theoretically) before exploring those options. My interpretation of this experience is that you were both playing around and he went a little too far.

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This one goes out to all to the human-sex-mimicking bunny owners out there who haven’t found it within themselves to speak up. For a bigger-picture fix, I think you should accept your differing approaches to and needs for contact after sex as data. Is it such a big gulf between what you’re comfortable with and what you feel obligated to do that it may be worth pursuing other relationship options? It wouldn’t surprise me at all to find out that you decided to hang in there, perhaps with some minor alterations. This is driving you crazy, but how does your husband feel about it? Does he feel like his dick is betraying his sex drive?

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  • We let them roam around the place pretty freely, because like I said, there isn’t a lot of space even if we don’t restrict it any.
  • This ability made me feel more confident in the bedroom.
  • I was inspired to write in by a recent question about aftercare.
  • Perhaps the same should be so for other forms of sex, including the vanilla variety, but it isn’t as widely practiced there.

People often have a hard time when the perception of their words doesn’t align with their intentions. It can be humbling in the most basic sense of the word to know that you did harm (or something close to it) by accident. For more information about how we process your personal data, please refer to our Privacy Notice. This menu’s updates are based on your activity.

Eventually, talking dirty became less and less awkward, and it started to become something I truly enjoyed. Reading your letter, I thought that “Binky and Winky” was perfect. Makes me wonder if your letter is even real. But then, I spend a lot of time these days wondering if things I see on the internet are real. No matter, really—what’s important is that it could be real.

If your husband hasn’t been examined by a doctor (including getting bloodwork done), you should encourage him to do so. Erectile dysfunction can be caused by serious health conditions like diabetes and heart disease. It’s worth knowing whether there’s something at the root of this issue. It is important for you both to be able to speak up. You could perhaps help bring him back to equilibrium by asking him if he has any boundaries he would like for you to respect. Or even if there’s anything he’d like to add to your sex life.

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For him, whose second language was English, it was fun to play with the dirty words of my first language, words that I struggled to say because of my own issues and peculiar sensitivities to specific sounds. It was definitely a process with many baby steps, but I went from being able to say words like “pussy” and “cock” on their own to using them in complete sentence. This ability made me feel more confident in the bedroom.

If you invite him in explicitly, he may see that what happened was a blip, something you can both get over with minimal effort. My husband and I had a very rare work-free, kids-at-daycare day home together today. We had some of the most connected and amazing sex this morning that we have had since our youngest was born almost 10 months ago.

There’s more to sex than intercourse—oral, manual, kink/BDSM, and more can all be performed without a hard penis. Long after my relationship with Paul dissolved, I continued to practice what he taught me with other men. I was unapologetically candid with my words during sex, and in most cases, the men I found myself with were just as vocal as I was. Once I was able to harness my ability to talk dirty in bed, I never looked back.



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